Stop. Observe. Stir.

By Glauce Fleury

Have you ever felt grateful for a bad love relationship, an unreliable friend, an illness, an insincere colleague or any other aspect of your life that wasn’t bringing you joy? It’s hard to, but you should.

If you’ve faced any of these and struggled, you’re not alone. We all have stuff to deal with. Yes, stuff. There’s no better word to define the huge amount of little things we go through every day.

They’re little because nothing negative can be given so much importance. Let’s stop giving ammunition to them and preserve our mental health. Let’s use these situations to become better people and allow our light to shine farther.

The good news is that these situations generally don’t happen at once, so you’ll have time to cope with them separately. The bad news is that you’ll face something similar at some point and you’ll need strength to overcome it.

Many times I had troubles to overcome my own problems, but I always faced them openly. I’d seek help by contacting a professional (a homeopath or counsellour), reading books by inspiring people (such as Eckhart Tolle) or studying meaningful topics (raj yoga).

Technically I’ve been struggling my whole life to deal with some types of people, and recently one encounter was more intense. I realized it was time to do something about it, so I dived into Eckhart Tolle’s books and started raj yoga classes.

None of them directly taught me how to deal with difficult people. But they opened my eyes to my own blockages, limitations and false perceptions. In the end, I learned how to focus on my actions, behaviours and thoughts.

Thoughts… We overthink. We judge. We label. But we shouldn’t.

People aren’t mean because they want to hurt you. No one’s goal is to make you upset. If people don’t give you what you’re looking for is not because you’re not worth it. Nobody will isolate you with the exclusive purpose of making you feel rejected.

I could go on and on…

What I’m trying to tell you is that we all face similar difficulties. Although all these behaviours can bring you instability, they speak volumes about the others. Not you.

Whenever you feel anything similar in your life, remember the other person is struggling too, and her or his behaviour has nothing to do with you. It’s all about her or his own insecurities.

Perhaps they lack self-love, self-confidence or have fear to open themselves to a meaningful relationship. If they want your support, give it to them. If not, move on and away. You deserve positivity in your life.

Raj yoga has taught me to focus on my present and abandon the idea that everything bad directed to me is personal. Eckhart Tolle was trying to teach us all this when he wrote The Power of Now and A New Earth.

I’ve never been so in peace and confident about myself. I’m talking about my ability to open myself to the new,  and to respect my and other people’s time to recognize when changes are needed.

This mindset has made things flow much easier. On the one hand, I’ve distanced myself from all that doesn’t fit in with my state of mind. On the other hand, I’ve attracted interesting opportunities and inspiring people — people I admire, respect and learn from.

Whenever you’re feeling like nothing works in your life or that some aspects are not taking you in the direction you want, S.O.S.: Stop. Observe. Stir. Make the necessary changes in you. Only you can do it.

Open yourself to the new and embrace it. The Universe always wants the best for you. And even when something negative happens, it’s also for your own benefit. So be grateful. Light attracts more light.

Photo credit:  © Furbychan under Creative Commons via Flickr

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